< viridian
Biofuture Robot Dog Design Contest >

In our ever increasing media saturation, where kids are kids for shorter and shorter periods of time, presented with ever more sophisticated materials aimed at them, expected to deal with as large a data set as any parent, and expected to be able to act accordingly, it is easy to see why youth seem ever more angst ridden and prone to violent outburst. While teen angst is something we will always have, school shootings and the like are something we would like to head off at the pass.

Studies show that kids who learn to be silly are much less likely to resort to anti-social violence. Laughter is a good thing. While there is not shortage of comedy in a child's life. Most of that comes through television and movies, whose humor is couched in the language of commerce and vast amounts of other cultural, sexual and material references. Very little attentions is played to good old silliness.

Thus our line of robot dogs: fluffy, spike and spot

These products lie somewhere between an actual dog and a teddy bear.

This is not a tool for the parent to track the child. Sophisticated kids these days will be able to see through that kind of technology in a second. As we've seen in the past, the kids are often quicker on the uptake then their parents. The product would be thrown aside.

This is not a tool that the child could use to get up to all sorts of mischeif. It doesn't record anything, it can't be controlled remotely, it can't be used as spy (as we know there are plenty of those things already on the market.

This product is designed to be your childs pal, it is designed to do all sorts of silly and ridiculous antics, it can walk on walls, it can do somersaults, it can leap through rings, it can fart on command, it can tell all sorts of bad jokes and puns ( these are downloadable with safeguards against it telling dirty jokes ). In other words, it is designed to make you child laugh.

It's sophisticated facial and voal recognition software allow it to detect when it is needed most and will act accordingly without command (although it will do it on command as well). But it also knows when it is best to curl up in the lap and present its warmth, purring upon being petted. Every child is different so it takes some time for the product to adopt the basic routines to the individual family.

product life time

3-4 years. Fully complies with the Materials Recycling Act of 2010 and can be returned to the manufacturer. It also complies with the Materials Breakdown Act of 2013, and can be composted safely with kitchen scraps.

warranty

3 years, or the life of the product. Covers abberant behaviour, and any deteriation of outward appearance.

cleaning

The product cleans itself much like a cat, but we reccommend the Bath command once a month (explained in the manual). The product is also a fun bathtub companion for your child.

feeding

The product is designed to live off kitchen vegetable scraps. Raw vegetables are best. Feeding the product meat could lead to malfunction and premature death of the product. We reccommend use of the protein/enzyme supplement canisters once a month. Feeding is not required more than once every several days. Product will indicate when it needs food. It will never eat more than it needs (or beg at the table)

Also see sleep.

toilet

Like any biological entity the product does need to use the loo. It will use a toilet to execute this function so long as it is shown where it is.

sleep

The product does need rest. It will stick to the schedule of the child for the most part, but it does require sunbathing every few days. Napping in the sun is very important to the longterm health of the product.

use

The product is shipped in sleep mode. It can be awakened from this by placing the hand on head and saying "wake." The product will learn its way around the house and family by asking questions. It will ask questions if it is found in an unfamiliar environment. If the questions are in appropriate at a time or a place, they can be stopped by saying, "Stop questions." It will listen to the child as its primary commmander, but can be overridden by the parent. The product can hookup by globwire to any computer for maintenance, and software updates. The product can hook itself up, through the tail.

made by

The AlternateEducation Company is a private education company dedicated to improving public and private education through school curriculums and learning technology.