happy halloween.
the wellstone thing took the punch out of mine, and i never managed to put together the costume i wanted to. have most of the parts, so maybe next year or something. anyway no parties tonight, and never been a big fan of the crowded drunken castro on halloween. just not my scene I guess.
its not that i don't like to dress up, but i think i like themes better, costume parties around a theme kind of thing, and especially when I can act it out as well. i hate pressure to be clever, and to put myself on display, because i'm rarely clever under pressure. that's what halloween always feels like to me.
sat night is dios de las meurtos, the day of the dead, my favorite "holiday," but i'm a little loathe to invite anyone to come along. last year was a bit of disaster basically missed the parade waiting for people, and then having to rush off to see some movie, no real effort to appreciate the nights solemnity or to honor the dead. still trying to recreate that time where liz andy nicole and i walked around. this year liz is gone, and i can't think of anyone else who'd appreciate it on that level. sure they are out there, even among my own friends
going to out together a little altar for wellstone and ximin's mother, and the dead in aghanistan -- no memorials to those civilians, not eloquent obituaries in the mass media for them.
i think the thing that scares me most about death is the idea that i will be forgotten. maybe that's why people have kids. i always had a notion that i'd be able to see everything that happens after i die, that that would be interesting in a "its a wonderful life" kind of way. but i suspect not, and that always kind of freaks me out whenever i take that in. Theres' life, there's death and then your bits and peices get recycled one way or another.
better go live a little tonight.

Rather depressing weekend all told. Could have easily been lost to cynicism, but I made myself get out and do things. Went to an amazing rally against War in Iraq on Saturday. Tens of thousands of people out marching, from all walks of life, of all ages. The march was really energizing, never been to such a big one before, ever. Didn't feel like "just a san francisco thing". The rally was a little more dissappointing, the message somewhat hijacked by pro-palestinian voices. I don't think they are wholly connected, and I do not think, as one speaker called for, that divestment of Israel as a whole is a good idea. Essentially calling for the destruction of Israel. That would not be a good thing I don't think. To their credit though, they probably did a lot of the greasework in getting it organized, so they probably earned their speaking time. Michalel Frante was pretty great doing a couple amazing songs, and it was nice to see Barbara Lee getting a standing ovation.

Sunday I went and delivered fliers for Tom. Trying to do my bit. But I spent the rest of the time just trying not to think. Saw a bunch of movies:

review the transporter dumb, don't go see it. cardboard characters. overly slick action ( that's somewhat of a pun given there was this ridiculous fight in an oil spillage ). bad editing. need I say more? ok (spoiler). it's a love story about a cynical ex military man (who was doing humanitarian special forces work?!) turned anal criminal who makes a mistake and picks up a chinese woman who is about to be executed for turning on her father who is smuggling chinese into france inside of containers. more? there's a really derivative fight scene that they practically copied straight from raiders of the lost ark (with some more martial arts and a parachute) but it wasn't anywhere near as good.

the brit should have stuck to semi-comic criminal roles a la lock stock and two smoking barrels and left his barrel chest and martial arts in the bag.

review training day great movie. somewhat depressing morality tale, but beautifully shot and well acted. ethan plays the rookie cop trying to do right by society well, treading the waters between enforcing the law and his obviously bent trainer.

review sexy beast not quite what I was expecting, but it was still fantastic. what's this name who played the bad guy was great. Not really your typical over the top raving lunatic, but tense wound up, quiet, coiled to strike, intense, someone who'd make just about anyone uncomfortable, unforgiving, unaccepting, creepy. He definitely made the movie, but the other main character did a great job as well, sweating away, trying to stand up to this man, without getting himself killed.