And now for something completely different
Set a clear example
Ushering in a period of personal responsibility
GEORGE W -- SEEKING HIS HOLY GRAIL:
GEORGE W:
Ma'am!
DENNIS:
Mister!
GEORGE W:
Mister. Sorry about that. Say have you seen any weapons of mass destruction? "WMD"s as I like to call them.
DENNIS:
I'm thirty-seven.
GEORGE W:
I-- what?
DENNIS:
I'm thirty-seven. I'm not old.
GEORGE W:
Well, I can't just call you 'Mister'. I could come up with a nickname...
DENNIS:
Well, you could say 'Dennis'.
GEORGE W:
Well, I didn't know you were called 'Dennis'.
DENNIS:
Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
GEORGE W:
I did say 'sorry' about the 'ma'am', but from the behind you
looked--
DENNIS:
What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!
GEORGE W:
Well, I am a President!
DENNIS:
Oh, President, eh, very nice. And how d'you get that, eh? By
exploiting the workers! By 'anging on to a neo-conservative capitalistic dogma
which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
If there's ever going to be any progress with the--
WOMAN:
Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh! How d'you do?
GEORGE W:
How do you do, Ma'am? I am George W Bush, President of the United
States of America, liberator, and I'm here to liberate all you fine souls.
WOMAN:
Liberator of the who?
GEORGE W:
You.
WOMAN:
Me?
GEORGE W:
Yes!
WOMAN:
I didn't know we had a Liberator. I thought we were an autonomous
collective.
DENNIS:
You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship: a
self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
WOMAN:
Oh, there you go bringing class into it again.
DENNIS:
That's what it's all about. If only people would hear of--
GEORGE W:
Please! Please, good souls. Tell me right quick: who lives in that castle?
WOMAN:
No one lives there.
GEORGE W:
Then where are the evildoers and their weapons of mass destruction?
WOMAN:
We don't have any.
GEORGE W:
What?
DENNIS:
I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns
to act as a sort of executive officer for the week,...
GEORGE W:
Yes.
DENNIS:
...but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a
special bi-weekly meeting...
GEORGE W:
Yes, I see.
DENNIS:
...by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,...
GEORGE W:
Be quiet!
DENNIS:
...but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major--
GEORGE W:
Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN:
Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Heh.
GEORGE W:
I am a President, your Liberator!
WOMAN:
Well, I didn't vote for you.
GEORGE W:
Your vote probably wouldn't have counted anyway.
WOMAN:
Well, how did you become President, then?
GEORGE W:
The Supreme Court,...
[angels sing]
...clad in the darkest of robes, decided by a single vote that
Florida should not recount its votes.
[singing stops]
That is why I am your President!
DENNIS:
Listen. Strange men in robes preventing recounts is no basis for a
system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate
from the masses, not from some farcical legal ceremony.
GEORGE W:
Be quiet!
DENNIS:
Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just
'cause some leathery old judge was friends with your Daddy!
GEORGE W:
Shut up!
DENNIS:
I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an senator just because some
dried up old judge said I was, they'd put me away!
GEORGE W:
Shut up, will you? Shut up!
DENNIS:
Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
GEORGE W:
Shut up!
DENNIS:
Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm
being repressed!
GEORGE W:
Liberal!
DENNIS:
Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh?
That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it,
didn't you?
Ushering in a period of personal responsibility
GEORGE W -- SEEKING HIS HOLY GRAIL:
GEORGE W:
Ma'am!
DENNIS:
Mister!
GEORGE W:
Mister. Sorry about that. Say have you seen any weapons of mass destruction? "WMD"s as I like to call them.
DENNIS:
I'm thirty-seven.
GEORGE W:
I-- what?
DENNIS:
I'm thirty-seven. I'm not old.
GEORGE W:
Well, I can't just call you 'Mister'. I could come up with a nickname...
DENNIS:
Well, you could say 'Dennis'.
GEORGE W:
Well, I didn't know you were called 'Dennis'.
DENNIS:
Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
GEORGE W:
I did say 'sorry' about the 'ma'am', but from the behind you
looked--
DENNIS:
What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!
GEORGE W:
Well, I am a President!
DENNIS:
Oh, President, eh, very nice. And how d'you get that, eh? By
exploiting the workers! By 'anging on to a neo-conservative capitalistic dogma
which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
If there's ever going to be any progress with the--
WOMAN:
Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh! How d'you do?
GEORGE W:
How do you do, Ma'am? I am George W Bush, President of the United
States of America, liberator, and I'm here to liberate all you fine souls.
WOMAN:
Liberator of the who?
GEORGE W:
You.
WOMAN:
Me?
GEORGE W:
Yes!
WOMAN:
I didn't know we had a Liberator. I thought we were an autonomous
collective.
DENNIS:
You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship: a
self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
WOMAN:
Oh, there you go bringing class into it again.
DENNIS:
That's what it's all about. If only people would hear of--
GEORGE W:
Please! Please, good souls. Tell me right quick: who lives in that castle?
WOMAN:
No one lives there.
GEORGE W:
Then where are the evildoers and their weapons of mass destruction?
WOMAN:
We don't have any.
GEORGE W:
What?
DENNIS:
I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns
to act as a sort of executive officer for the week,...
GEORGE W:
Yes.
DENNIS:
...but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a
special bi-weekly meeting...
GEORGE W:
Yes, I see.
DENNIS:
...by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,...
GEORGE W:
Be quiet!
DENNIS:
...but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major--
GEORGE W:
Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN:
Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Heh.
GEORGE W:
I am a President, your Liberator!
WOMAN:
Well, I didn't vote for you.
GEORGE W:
Your vote probably wouldn't have counted anyway.
WOMAN:
Well, how did you become President, then?
GEORGE W:
The Supreme Court,...
[angels sing]
...clad in the darkest of robes, decided by a single vote that
Florida should not recount its votes.
[singing stops]
That is why I am your President!
DENNIS:
Listen. Strange men in robes preventing recounts is no basis for a
system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate
from the masses, not from some farcical legal ceremony.
GEORGE W:
Be quiet!
DENNIS:
Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just
'cause some leathery old judge was friends with your Daddy!
GEORGE W:
Shut up!
DENNIS:
I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an senator just because some
dried up old judge said I was, they'd put me away!
GEORGE W:
Shut up, will you? Shut up!
DENNIS:
Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
GEORGE W:
Shut up!
DENNIS:
Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm
being repressed!
GEORGE W:
Liberal!
DENNIS:
Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh?
That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it,
didn't you?
