I (insert symbol for RumpRide) the IRS
Fuckie fuckery fuck, guys!
I mean, gents!
I mean, men!
I mean, masculinity-affirming term denoting male of the bipedal hominid species that pleases nicE!
Guy goes away for a couple days, gets back, writes a blog, and then he gets to lie low for a bit. That's the 21st century paradigm fuckers!! Read your Poor Smoothe Richarde's Almanac! I return to FantasyDiamondLand (aka Internet for you semantic sticklers) and what do i find? Humans that have had brains AND fingers AND internet access for the past several days.
All of you are just too much.
In honor of your productivity, i will gladly write comments to all of the past postings, none of which will be read because it is too late. (Alas. It's not all in vain. I'm close to securing the movie rights for 4Blab. I've tentatively titled it "4Blabber or 4Party!"!! It's mostly a college road trip flick, but i think this blog should provide great source material...to line the garbage with! That's the kind of zinger lines you should expect from Niko, that loveable greek amputee at the center of "4Blabber or 4Party". Don't worry though, your characters will all be represented..in court, by your lawyers, when you're suing me for rights!!! Ahh, Niko, keep them coming.)
However, these comments must wait at least a moment, for i must finish my wonderful taxes. And since my computer does not currently desire to open TurboTax, I must reboot. Then i must watch over the next few hours as various technical glitches prevent me from finishing so that i must turn to lovely NP for some late-night support and FIFA trash-talking. By the by, i may not know much about accounting, and who the fuck knows what honesty is, am I right?
AM I RIGHT????
(to all federal agents reading, the answer is "not at all, sirs. many people know about honesty, including the poster of this message, who certainly knows about honesty in finances when it comes to his federal tax return. But fuck the state! Am I right?
AM I RIGHT????
(to all state agents reading, the answer is "no sirs. I am wrong. You should not perform intercourse with the state. I am not sure it is even possible, unless you consider our governor as "the state". And at this point, the validity of that type of relationship is for the courts to decide. But fuck the courts!! Am I right?
AM I RIGHT???
(I apologize for this last brash example of judicial bashing. Unfortunately, i stepped away from the keyboard for two seconds and next thing I know, Clarence Thomas is typing away like a porn-lovin' maniac!
(Niko, you still got it.
)))) ***CLOSE BRACKETS***
However, I do know the mentality of the coaster, the thoughts of one who waits til the end to get by and then does whatever it takes to come out squeaky clean. With this in mind, I offer you this bit of advice on filing your taxes: do not wait until the last day to file. This type of behavior is the easiest for the IRS to flag as the work of someone who probably wasn't completely thorough or accurate on their return. In fact, whenever you question in your return whether your choice will raise a flag to the govt., it likely does. Therefore, be on the up and up. At least for those particular areas. The key is to have some fun in the sections they'd never expect. For instance, who'd expect someone to fib about an expense of 1000 barrels of fish for their burgeoning career as SeaWorld harlequin? I sure wouldn't. Would I?
Clap you later!
-Rory, Niko's best friend (or so he thinks)(What's that supposed to mean!)(Relax Rory. You'll find out when you catch "4Blabber or 4Party!" next fall. Right after you catch herpes!)(Zing, Niko. Zing!)
I mean, gents!
I mean, men!
I mean, masculinity-affirming term denoting male of the bipedal hominid species that pleases nicE!
Guy goes away for a couple days, gets back, writes a blog, and then he gets to lie low for a bit. That's the 21st century paradigm fuckers!! Read your Poor Smoothe Richarde's Almanac! I return to FantasyDiamondLand (aka Internet for you semantic sticklers) and what do i find? Humans that have had brains AND fingers AND internet access for the past several days.
All of you are just too much.
In honor of your productivity, i will gladly write comments to all of the past postings, none of which will be read because it is too late. (Alas. It's not all in vain. I'm close to securing the movie rights for 4Blab. I've tentatively titled it "4Blabber or 4Party!"!! It's mostly a college road trip flick, but i think this blog should provide great source material...to line the garbage with! That's the kind of zinger lines you should expect from Niko, that loveable greek amputee at the center of "4Blabber or 4Party". Don't worry though, your characters will all be represented..in court, by your lawyers, when you're suing me for rights!!! Ahh, Niko, keep them coming.)
However, these comments must wait at least a moment, for i must finish my wonderful taxes. And since my computer does not currently desire to open TurboTax, I must reboot. Then i must watch over the next few hours as various technical glitches prevent me from finishing so that i must turn to lovely NP for some late-night support and FIFA trash-talking. By the by, i may not know much about accounting, and who the fuck knows what honesty is, am I right?
AM I RIGHT????
(to all federal agents reading, the answer is "not at all, sirs. many people know about honesty, including the poster of this message, who certainly knows about honesty in finances when it comes to his federal tax return. But fuck the state! Am I right?
AM I RIGHT????
(to all state agents reading, the answer is "no sirs. I am wrong. You should not perform intercourse with the state. I am not sure it is even possible, unless you consider our governor as "the state". And at this point, the validity of that type of relationship is for the courts to decide. But fuck the courts!! Am I right?
AM I RIGHT???
(I apologize for this last brash example of judicial bashing. Unfortunately, i stepped away from the keyboard for two seconds and next thing I know, Clarence Thomas is typing away like a porn-lovin' maniac!
(Niko, you still got it.
)))) ***CLOSE BRACKETS***
However, I do know the mentality of the coaster, the thoughts of one who waits til the end to get by and then does whatever it takes to come out squeaky clean. With this in mind, I offer you this bit of advice on filing your taxes: do not wait until the last day to file. This type of behavior is the easiest for the IRS to flag as the work of someone who probably wasn't completely thorough or accurate on their return. In fact, whenever you question in your return whether your choice will raise a flag to the govt., it likely does. Therefore, be on the up and up. At least for those particular areas. The key is to have some fun in the sections they'd never expect. For instance, who'd expect someone to fib about an expense of 1000 barrels of fish for their burgeoning career as SeaWorld harlequin? I sure wouldn't. Would I?
Clap you later!
-Rory, Niko's best friend (or so he thinks)(What's that supposed to mean!)(Relax Rory. You'll find out when you catch "4Blabber or 4Party!" next fall. Right after you catch herpes!)(Zing, Niko. Zing!)
